When
I lived in Bali, my life was all about Couchsurfing. I hosted some travelers at
my apartment. I traveled to all parts of the island with fellow members and
spent a night at a brewery because my host happened to be the general manager
of a famous beer brand. I also participated in their weekly gathering in Kuta.
One evening I chitchatted with a
host in the community about backpackers. Say his name was Bob. He had been a member
much longer than me, so he had more experience. The interesting part was when
he told me why he didn’t host backpackers any more.
“They’re problems,” he said. “They’re
freeloaders, dependent, taking without giving, wanting everything for free.
Every time I hosted a backpacker, he finished my monthly stock of instant
noodle, snacks, and everything. Did they buy anything for me? No. They didn’t
even buy anything for themselves. Did they ever buy me a beer to thank me after
providing them a place to stay? No. They just left.”
“That’s just what backpackers do,
isn’t it?” I said. “They try to be very efficient with their money because they
want to visit as many countries as possible. Maybe they hitchhike through
southeast Asia. Maybe some of them bring tents and just set them up at city
parks when they’re tired.”
“Shouldn’t be that extreme. Normal
travelers are not like that. You don’t feel like they’re taking advantage of
you. They’re more interested in you and more concerned about you and your
needs. Of course they sleep at your place to keep their expenses low, but when
they’re there, they care about you. They could be friends with you. They don’t
see you merely as somebody that could help their personal travel plan succeed.”
I understood what he was trying to
say. I’d once had a similar experience. It just doesn’t feel good to have
somebody that needs you around, but actually doesn’t give a shit about you.
Until now I’m still friends with all
my travel partners, the ones I consider as normal travelers, not dependent
backpackers. Most of them are already back in their countries, but we still
talk on Skype, chat, and leave comments on Facebook. It happens because we’re
friends. We are interested in each other.
What about with backpackers?
I once hosted a backpacker in
Jakarta. A 24 year old girl. Everything that Bob said happened. I drove her
around to show what my hometown was like. After a while, I took her to a cafe,
but she didn’t want to buy anything because she thought everything was too
expensive. Let me be clear: one glass of iced cappucinno costs thirty thousand
rupiahs—less than two euros for her. It should’ve been me, not her, that
thought everything was too expensive.
Because I didn’t feel like drinking
alone, I asked her where she wanted to go. She took me on a very long,
uncertain walk because she wanted a cup or glass of coffee that only cost five
thousand rupiahs. I found that behavior a little bit too much and really
unnecessary, especially coming from somebody with euros on her bank account.
Then it started to rain and we sat
in the lobby of a building. Waiting and having nothing to do, she stood up and
bought a takoyaki that cost fifteen
thousand rupiahs. Apparently, I said to myself, it just dawned on her that she
had money in her wallet.
The next day, she tried to trick a
bar. So we ordered a pitcher of beer and the waiter made a mistake: he gave us
two menus—the normal one and the promotional one that was already outdated. On
the outdated promotional menu, the price of a pitcher of beer was cheaper.
Twenty thousand rupiahs cheaper.
She said to me, “Elia, later when we’re
gonna pay, just say we ordered a pitcher of beer because we thought the price
would be according to the promotional menu. If they say it is not valid any
more, say we didn’t notice. They gave it to us so it’s their mistake and they
can’t blame us for not noticing.”
I didn’t think for a second to reject
the idea. For me, the waiter’s mistake is one thing, and trying to trick the
bar by taking advantage of his mistake is just uncool. Besides, it was only
twenty thousand rupiahs (if it was a million, I would’ve been the one coming up
with the idea). In the end, she insisted doing it her way and gave me money
based on her own calculation and I even had to pay for her meal as well.
How is my relationship with her now?
We don’t talk to each other any
more. Like we never met.
And like Bob, now I always think twice about hosting a backpacker again.
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